A Necessary Darkness
by XFireSermonX
Summary: He stood, looking down at her, disgust twisting his young features. So often he spoke gently, pretending to be her little boy, protected her against the things that kept him awake at night. Now it seemed he was unable to hide his contempt..or no longer wanted to. Takes place before the first book, describes some of the events that took place before the Fowl Siege.
1. Intimate Stranger

**Notes: This takes place before the first book. It's pretty much a detailed account of how Artemis ended up the way he did. It always really annoyed me that the books never truly explained the relationship he had with his parents, it was mostly just implied. They explained a little bit in the first two books and then all of the sudden Artemis Senior comes back and he's all valiant yadda yadda, and his mother gets better and it just doesn't matter anymore that they basically neglected him emotionally. I mean, for a twelve year old kid to become disturbed enough to kidnap someone, a lot more had to happen to get him to that point. And now that I'm ranting I'd also like to point out that for the rest of the books all his mother does is whine at him about how he's not normal...well he was raised by insane people so of course he's not normal. DUH. Anyway thanks for sticking with me through that, here's the story.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own any of these characters is there any point in me finishing this sentence?**

The sky was gray, the grayness spread out like spilled water color across paper, collecting in angry looking blotches. They stretched themselves into a shadowy white band that hovered just above the hem of the mountains. It barley rained and still the entirety of the grounds seemed drenched, water logged. The wind pushed mist across the lake and up over the hills where it collected in droplets against the manors many amber glowing windows. Everything was warm, secure against the chilled winds of November.

The boy gazed out of his home, out past the glass and the amber glow, out past his own reflection. Huddled close to the window, the gray clouds seemed to move somberly across his forehead, behind his eyes. He shifted in the antique wooden bench seat, one knee pulled close to his chest, the other knee propped against a table. His breath caught and fogged against the glass, blurring the reflection of the figure behind him whom he ignored with expertise. She was a shadow strewn behind him briefly as the sun emerged and then dissipated, a mere suggestion of the life before her. She was an anomaly that can only ever be a shade of comparative darkness, a feint semblance of a real living thing intercepting light. The shadow swayed nervously and crossed her arms over her chest and sighed. She stalked to the other side of the room, stopped and slowly meandered back into the boy's view.

"Good morning Arty" said the reflection of the shadow of his mother.

_Just go away. _

"Hello" the boy answered, barley audible.

He didn't turn his gaze from the glass but began to tap his knuckle against the table top, he knew he was coming across as impatient and for once didn't care. He was so often gentle with her, handling her as if she were a delicate yet beautiful spider web that he wished to preserve. Too often afraid to breath incorrectly lest she unravel, detach from her bearings and float away in the wind.

She took a few steps closer to her son, letting her arms drop suddenly. She straightened her back and titled her head to the side as if she were trying to remember something, like it was the most important thing and it was just at the tip of her tongue but she couldn't quite wretch it back from the clouded space of her mind. She reached out her hand toward him but seemed to think better of it and recoiled gently.

"Arty, we need to talk dear...I just can't remember what it was I..." she trailed off and stepped closer. "Arty, look at me...look at your mother."

The boy stiffened and slowly turned to face her, unbending his knees and placing his feet on the stone floor. At nearly 7 in the morning, what little of the sun that was rising over the cresting hills beyond the manor was quickly being smothered by the immense clouds, dark and looming. The room was unlit if not for the stray light spilling in from the hallway behind Angeline Fowl. The boy looked at her, his eyes were startling in the dimness of the room, they glinted an almost other worldly blue. The blue of the immense, untouched ice of the arctic, the blue of the deepest ocean. Cold, distant yet so...so familiar.

"Yes Mother?" the boy says the words but they are not his.

She had asked him to look at her, he did. Her light brown hair is wispy, knotted. She's wearing the same lilac colored silk bath robe that she's had on for nearly two weeks. She smells of sleep, of sickness. Her skin is so pale it's almost gray. He hesitates before meeting her eyes, they are glassy, distant. She's not really here, he knows that. She's looking at him and past him. Her eyes are ringed with smudged eyeliner that she has cried through again and again, never bothering to wash off.

He was beginning to think she wasn't going to answer, which is the way many of their conversations end, fragmented. But she seemed suddenly aware of her surroundings, her hands patted at her torn torn pajama bottoms and filthy robe. She looked down and seemed to be seeing the glass she sent crashing to the floor only hours ago, as if for the first time. To her left she noticed the curtains she ripped from their rungs, the books she'd hurled in anger. She'd even smashed an antique clock against the wall, sending splintered wood and small working mechanisms flying across the room. She looked worriedly at the mantle above the fire place where she kept her carefully arranged porcelain statuettes, they too were smashed to bits, mixed in with the remains of a very expensive french mirror. She whirled around in horror. The heavy oak table across the room had been upended and the vase of lillies it had held was smashed beneath it. A puddle of water spread slowly across the floor, leaking into the area rug in the center of the room.

She opened her mouth and said nothing. Then:

"What has...happened here? All of these things...who?" she looked at her son with wide eyes, innocent and confused. Her hands flitted about her frame like startled birds.

"Mother, just go back upstairs, go to bed, you have been up all night. When you wake up everything will be better, I promise." He said this without much conviction, his voice flat.

Angeline reached out, placing a hand on each side of her sons pale face. Her fingers traced the bruise that arced across the high of his cheek bone, beneath his left eye. A look of concern and confusion passed over her features, and then something else. She pulled his head to her chest, breathing into his hair. Artemis clenched his jaw.

"I'm so sorry, what have I done?"

She was kneeling now, rocking him in her lap.

"What have I done?...I never meant to be this way Arty I just, everything just got out of hand. I came downstairs and I saw all of his things, sitting just where he left them. I just got so angry, not even his ghost is left...not a word just gone..." She was speaking so quietly now, mostly to herself.

"I begged him not to go" she sobbed suddenly, running her hands frantically through the boys dark hair.

"I pleaded with him not to go...he promised me...this would be the last run" her grip grew tighter, she dug her nails into the skin of his neck where she held him to her chest.

_Let go._

He was so sick of this, chasing his mother about the house as if she were a wild animal, unpredictable and violent. Cleaning up the messes in her wake, being kind to her. He didn't want to be kind anymore, he wanted to hit her, to fight back. To stalk up to her dark, disgusting room and tear down the drapes, smash all of her things.

He was trembling in her arms now, he wanted to scream at her. To make her see, finally _see_. She had left him behind, she had saved herself and left him here to rot in the silence. In the deafening wake of her screams and his vast loneliness that they had so painstakingly carved out for him, in this monster of a house. He pushed away from her, suddenly. Violently. She was thrown backwards onto the rough area rug, she sat up slowly and looked at him with an incredulous expression that quickly soured to rage.

She narrowed her eyes at him, he knew she was seeing a stranger.

"Where is he?! Where is my husband, where have you taken him?!" she was howling, her voice cracked and desperate sounded alien in her son's ears.

He stood, looking down at her, a look of disgust twisting his young features. So often he spoke gently, pretended to be her little boy, protected _her_ against the things that kept him awake at night. Now it seemed he was unable to hide his contempt...or perhaps no longer wanted to.

Still in her crumpled position on the floor, she leaned forward and screamed at this familiar stranger in her home. Familiar yet cold and somehow she knew, knew without a doubt in her mind that this stranger had taken her husband, this person that was a living, breathing memory before her had seized her life and ripped it apart. And she wailed against her better judgment and her sanity and her pride through the tears she thought she no longer possessed, having spent them all.

"Tell me where he is!" her voice was raw, shaking.

Artemis' mouth twitched.

"At the bottom on the arctic ocean".

There was silence. Angeline's frame tensed as if she had been struck. The air was thick, threatening, as if her son had in fact, hit her. Artemis continued despite his better judgment.

"It's been two years Angeline, two years and not one shred of believable evidence. I have been searching, against all the impossible odds. Do you know how grim our chances of even finding his dead body are, let alone finding him alive?"

Angeline didn't answer, she just stared up at her son's pale face, she seemed startled but not fully aware. Artemis' gaze was cold, hard. He could feel himself losing control, anger blossomed in his chest. He knew he would regret this but he couldn't stop now.

"Nil, next to nothing." He stated angrily, answering his own question.

He knew she probably wasn't comprehending any of this and even if she was it wasn't going to change her mental state or their situation. It wasn't going to miraculously fix anything but his outburst felt good. And he hadn't felt much of that in about two years. He wondered what it said about his character that making his own mother suffer when she was ill actually eased his own pain. He filed this information away to be analyzed later and continued, his mouth moving of it's own accord.

"There is almost no chance of us ever finding him, even if he wasn't killed in the explosion or when the ship went down he would have soon suffered hypothermia. But let's just say that he did, somehow, make it to shore. The Russian mafia wouldn't let his vulnerable predicament slip through their fingers. No, an adversary as powerful as Artemis Fowl, weak and without resources, they would be stupid not to take the opportunity to gain an upper hand."

Angeline was trembling now, she hadn't attempted to rise from her place on the rug and she looked like a small girl, fragile and scared. Artemis knew he was being cruel but something that he had not allowed himself to feel for so long was rising in the back of his throat, acrid. He tried to quell the outburst but heat rose in his face, tears threatened to prick in the corners of his eyes. He felt unstable, a white hot pain pooled in his stomach.

"Don't you see Mother?" His eyes glinted and something dangerous was there beneath the surface. "That is our very last hope. That he somehow survived and washed up on shore in time for those thugs to take him hostage. His life is in the hands of the mafia and if they do not have him then he is surely dead." His voice was shaking, feeling foreign in his throat.

Angeline rose slowly, seeming to have found some sense of composure yet still flinching at his words.

"I don't want to hear anymore of this, I don't know who you are but you certainly are not my little Arty. He would never be so cold towards me. Leave now before I call my son's body guard to remove you." The conviction in her voice was unmistakable, had she not looked the way she currently did and if not for the glassiness of her eyes, Artemis would have believed this was really his mother. She was even staring down her nose at him as if she were in complete control of her faculties and offended beyond reason that this strange boy was in her home, spewing nonsense.

_The insane do not know they are insane, _Thought Artemis.

At this point Artemis didn't even try to correct her, he knew that this delusion she was immersed in was a sort of shield against the things he had just said. It was easier for her to think that Artemis was not her son than to admit that he was and that he could possibly be so cold and so unlike the child Angeline had always wanted. His emotions were deeply conflicted. He pitied her, sympathized with her and resented her immensely all at once. He looked into his mother's eyes briefly, suddenly feeling exhausted and turned from her to face the window.

But Angeline had had enough of this intruder, she reached out and grabbed the boy's arm and yanked him around to face her. Her grip was hard and she began to shake him, screaming into his face. Artemis squeezed his eyes shut against the spray of spittle.

"How dare you disrespect me!" She screamed, outraged. "Don't you know who I am? Who my husband is? He could have you killed!" Her face was red and pinched looking. She was blatantly frustrated with the boy's refusal to do as she had commanded, her fear quickly transforming into an animal like aggression. Artemis opened his eyes, ignoring the pain of her grip, looking at her with not a trace of emotion. He said nothing. Angeline took further offensive at his silence and nonchalant attitude.

"We'll see how smug you look when Butler gets a hold of you" she said sharply, she dragged him over to the door way and began shouting.

"Butler!" she leaned out of the door and shouted down the long hallway, cupping her hand around her mouth for better projection. "Butler, we have an intruder! Come quickly!" she sounded desperate and her voice was hoarse.

"He's not going to hurt me" said Artemis coolly.

She looked back at him in a stunned silence. His air of confidence frightened her.

Here was this small boy, breaking into her home, which she knew to be a veritable fortress, and he was in no way worried that he'd been caught nor reacting to her threats.

How had he even gotten inside?

"Who are you?" she asked warily, a cloud of apprehension behind her eyes.

"Your son" answered the boy, looking unconcerned.

"Stop saying that!" she pushed him away from her. "You are not my son, why are you doing this to me?" her voice broke.

"Your doing this to yourself, Mother" there was a hint of venom in his words.

"Don't say that to me! You're just trying to confuse me!" She swatted at him but Artemis side stepped her clumsy attempt.

"No, you see, I'm not trying to confuse you. I'm merely telling you the truth." His voice was unkind, his eyes threatening. "Your husband is gone. And I am, in fact, your only son." With every word Artemis could see his mother shrink away from him, hands clasping her head. A coldness seized him, the coldness that would protect him from that moment on emerged, eating away at him like acid, stifling the ache he felt when his mother wouldn't look at him. Or when she refused to say his name, when she denied he was her son. This was _his_ shield and armor, like mother like son. "You can go back to your attic and close the blinds, shut out the whole world and sleep for another year but unfortunately for you that isn't going to make me any less your son, and when you wake up he's still going to be dead".

He had gone too far. Angeline reached out and smacked him across the mouth with the back of her hand, hard. The boy stumbled backward a few steps, but his expression never wavered. He looked up at her smugly, his bottom lip had busted open on his teeth, blood blossomed across his lips and onto his chin.

"You're pathetic" he laughed quietly and shook his head, attempting to step around her towards the door. She grabbed his arm again, exasperated and enraged, she began pummeling him with her fists. He didn't even cringe, he just stood there and absorbed the blows. She was screaming at him to get out, to leave as she sobbed.

Butler, who had been on the first floor of the manor preparing breakfast when he heard Angeline's cries, skidded to a halt in the door way brandishing his sig sauer. His eyes widened as he realized what was happening and he pocketed the fire arm. He was shocked, Mrs. Fowl had never hit Artemis in the past. She was a pacifist by nature and her son hardly ever got the chance to "act out" as a normal child would. Because of the way his father had raised him she hardly ever even had to correct him, especially this violently. He was torn between his duty to protect Artemis and not overstepping Angeline in her parental authority. After a moment it became obvious that she was in the grips of another episode, the room was completely destroyed, Angeline's signature.

He swiftly stepped forward and caught her fist mid strike. He wrapped one massive arm around her, securing her arms to her sides. The small women flailed against him, kicking and screaming. This type of behavior was getting to be quite typical of Angeline and so Butler made sure he had a mild sedative on him at all times, just in case she became unreasonable. He hated to do this to the poor woman but if he simply carried her back to her room and locked the door she was likely to hurt herself attempting to get out. The sedative was only effective for 15 minutes and upon waking it acted as an anti anxiety medication, soothing her enough for her to fall asleep naturally.

He pulled a hypodermic needle out of a small black case in his jacket pocket and injected her, she went limp almost immediately. He carried the woman back to her room in the attic and put her to bed before returning to Artemis Senior's study, where he left his principle.

He returned to find the study empty. He took a moment to survey the damage before going to check on Artemis. He heard Angeline in here late last night, she had been throwing things, smashing her late husband's personal items and talking to herself. He knew that if he let her tire herself out she would go back to bed after a few hours. He didn't know that Artemis had left his room to confront his mother, the boy never made a sound. He must have just sat there and watched in silence as she destroyed the only things that he had left of his father's.

Butler sprinted down the hallway to Artemis' room, only to find it empty as well. He wasn't in his own study either. Butler quickly called Juliet on his cell phone, she was currently in the dojo completing her morning routine, he interrupted her and asked her to check the grounds for Artemis while he took the rest of the manor. It took them both a good 30 minutes to exhaust every option before they realized the boy was gone.

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Review, critique, this is my very first fanfic so I'm open to suggestions.

If you guys like it i'll post chapter 2


	2. The Unnecessary Hazards of Emotion

**I'd like to thank everyone who reviewed and followed/favorited this story. You guys make it worth it. I'd also like to inform everyone that if you would like chapter 3 to be posted by next Friday I'm gonna need at least 10 reviews. So basically what I'm saying is, if I have at least 10 reviews per chapter then you won't ever have to wait more than one week for an update. I'd make the update time shorter but my chapters tend to be pretty long. Sound fair? **

**Dewind Dolly****: And you shall have more! Thanks for being my first ever review XD**

**Archadian07****: ****HERE HERE HERE is the next chapter! Your comment made me smile =] Thank**

**you! **

**Sexxicosmologist****: Thank you! And yes, exactly. I always had the feeling that Artemis Sr. and Angeline were completely self absorbed and oblivious to Arty. **

**Amywxue****: I never thought Artemis would do that either and I appreciate your suggestion. You'll be happy with the upcoming chapters then because I completely agree and there will be a sizable scene where Butler and Arty have their father-son moment. **

**Luminia Aravis:**** I'm flattered, thank you so much!**

**SkullduggaryFowl:**** I'm not opposed to a little harsh criticism now and then but only if it's intelligent and well informed. **

**ANYWHO...**

**I'd like to thank everyone who reviewed and followed/favorited this story. You guys make it worth it. I'd also like to inform everyone that if you would like chapter 3 to be posted by next Friday I'm gonna need at least 10 reviews. So basically what I'm saying is, if I have at least 10 reviews per chapter then you won't ever have to wait more than one week for an update. I'd make the update time shorter but my chapters tend to be pretty long. Sound fair? **

**Onwards towards the story! Hizzah!**

Artemis knew that what he was doing was juvenile and irresponsible, he also knew that it wasn't fair to Butler. The overworked bodyguard was probably having a stroke right about now. Honestly, it was an impulse decision, he had just desperately wanted to get as far away from his mother and from Fowl Manor as possible. Impulsive, though, was not a word that anyone would use to describe Artemis Fowl and he knew that Butler would pick up on the uncharacteristically stupid move he had made right away. Butler had been by his side since the day he was born and beside the fact that he was his caretaker and protector, he was the closest thing the boy had to a father. Artemis valued his privacy and trusted very few people with his personal thoughts and feelings, in fact, he preferred not to form such feelings if it were possible as they would only serve to distract him. Artemis was not looking forward to returning to the manor, Butler knew him better than anyone and he had a way of getting Artemis to 'spill his guts', as is the term.

He had taken the Cessna, which had not been used for the past several years. It was a small, almost clunky plane. It's interior was luxurious of course but plainer and much more condensed than the Lear Jet. He had ascended without problem and was now flying lazily above Dublin. Artemis licked his lips and tasted copper, he grimaced and attempted to wipe the dried blood from them with the palm of his band. He could feel his bottom lip swelling where he'd been hit.

He allowed his mind to wander, he needed to decompress before he could face anyone. For once his mind didn't move straight to science or art or any one of his various projects that usually occupied his thoughts. Instead he thought about the first time he had ever flown the Cessna alone. He had been nine years old and he'd needed a booster seat. This time he didn't need any assistance in reaching the controls, he had grown significantly since then. He would be twelve in six short months.

_And no closer to finding Father or reinstating the family fortune than I was the day he disappeared._

He knew that if his father could see him now, no closer to reaching his goals _and_ wasting precious time attempting to avoid his problems, he would have his son locked in his study for the rest of the night for a little father-son chat. Artemis shuddered at the thought, and not many things could make the formidable heir shudder.

Remembering those nights after so long made it all feel like a dream, like none of it ever happened. Even though he often dreaded being called into his father's study a small part of him looked forward to it. It was the only time Artemis ever really got to spend alone with his father, it was like going to church for some one who is passionate about God but every time they went the Pastor was preaching hellfire. When his father locked that door not even Butler was allowed in and Artemis was sworn to secrecy. His father even disabled the surveillance, much to Butler's annoyance.

Sometimes his father would lecture him about various topics he considered vital to his son's knowledge of finances and criminality. And sometimes the learning experiences or "demonstrations" were a little more hands on.

The lectures, Artemis could tolerate, he even enjoyed them most of the time. But sometimes they left him confused and forlorn, he thought back to a specific conversation he'd had with his father.

_I was only six years of age, It was the first time he ever allowed me into his study. I had been __extremely__ excited but I tried to hide it so Father would think I was mature enough to be given th__is__privilege.__ I knew that if he could see that I was distracted by my own eagerness to please him, he would dismiss me and who knows how long it would take for him to allow me to spend alone time with him in his study __again. I stood ram rod still, I tried to make my face match his exactly. I stood in front of the fireplace, a little to the left of his chair so that he wouldn't have to turn his head to talk to me. He sat down and it was quiet for several minutes save for the ticking of the antique clock, he was considering his words. I was almost content with this alone, as long as he allowed me to be close to him we could stay there in silence all night if that __was__ what he intended. But finally he spoke._

"_Artemis, there are certain duties that a Father has an obligation to fulfill in terms of his son, to ensure that he grows into the man that he is meant to be. I believe that many fathers do not fulfill this __obligation to the best of their ability. First and foremost I believe honesty plays an important part in a young child's development, I see too many fathers treating their son's as delicately as possible while the world around them is anything but." __My father curled his lip at the thought. "__I am a practical man...and I see the world as it truly is, not for what I would like to think it is." He paused for a moment, I assume to allow what he had said to sink in, which was unnecessary. I soaked up every word he ever said to me or around me __the moment it left his mouth__. _

_I nodded to assure him that I understood, he continued._

"_You're special Artemis, not just because you are a Fowl, but because you possess a very high level of intelligence. This is your God given head start in life, knowledge is almost as powerful as gold my son. Almost." A flicker of a smile passed over his lips. "Though like anyone with a natural talent it needs to be honed. Like a fighter trains to build muscle and reflex, a thinker must train to acquire knowledge, gain insight but most importantly to comprehend one's enemies. Like the fighter, if a mistake is made, it could prove fatal." He rose from his seat and walked slowly to the window overlooking the gardens. "Any fool can know, the point is to understand." I recognized the quote as Einstein's. "This is why you must concentrate solely on this venture, it will take years of discipline. Being a genius merely makes you clever, it is discipline that makes you invincible. You must never let your guard down, you must think ten steps ahead of your opponent at all times." _

_He turned to face me again, a hint of pride falling across his features. I stood even straighter, if that was possible. _

"_No great victories are won without sacrifice. This is mainly what I brought you here to discuss with me today. I'm sure at your age it seems only natural to focus on making friends and all that childish nonsense. But you must remember that those other boys at school are not even close to you in terms of mental capacity. More than likely they will become jealous and even spiteful, it may not seem like it now but it will happen. It's best to keep isolated from them, let them know that you are superior now so they don't have time to underestimate you."_

_I faltered a bit at hearing this, I had already made a few friends at St. Bartleby's over the last semester and they didn't seem like a threat to my future. He caught the break in my facade. _

"_They will drag you down, Artemis. I assumed you were smart enough to see that by now. Perhaps I was mistaken, perhaps you are not mature enough to accept the full weight of your own responsibilities." He was looking down his nose at me, all previous pride had vanished from his features. The shift made me feel panicky, I felt like crying but froze the feeling before it became obvious. I needed to make him believe that I understood. And I did, he was right after all. Wasn't he?_

_I finally spoke, my voice sounded different and far away. _

"_Of course father, I expected as much myself. How can one rise to greatness flanked by ordinary minds? If they have nothing to contribute then logically they can only serve as a hindrance. Sacrifice is necessary to obtain one's goals and I harbor no feelings of attachment towards any of my peers. It will not be an issue for me to sever connection completely to anyone who might have assumed otherwise." _

_This seemed to please him enough for the harsh look of contempt to slip from his features. _

"_That's my boy" he said. _

_That's one thing I do not miss in the least._ Thought Artemis. _My Father's love was entirely conditional. _

An urgent sounding alarm jerked him from his thoughts. He looked down, searching for the source. For a moment he thought that maybe due to the altitude he was hallucinating, there was no way he could have been stupid enough to take off in an airplane with so little fuel. In his flustered state and emotional instability he had forgotten to check the gauge, assuming instead that it was at least half way full. He could have sworn he'd filled the tank about a month ago when had replaced the old, outdated engine with a new model that was more efficient and a great deal quieter. He had done this in case of an emergency, so if they had needed to escape the manor grounds using the Cessna their take off would be almost undetectable unless you were physically present for it. Yet the tank was below empty on the small red scale. This was exactly the kind of foolish behavior his father had warned him about, the unnecessary hazards of emotion was another point his father had drilled into his head.

Mentally berating himself, he quickly calculated the amount of time it would take for him to return to the Manor grounds. At least thirty minutes and that's if he broke the sound barrier, which was not what this plane was built for and he also didn't have any intention of drawing attention to himself. If government officials pursued him and realized an eleven year old boy was flying the Cessna, they would have to investigate his home and certainly deem Angeline an unfit parent. With no father in sight and because Butler had no documented legal standings as a parental guardian, he'd be turned over to the state. And none of that would get him any closer to finding his father. He shook himself. Time to concentrate on the present. What are the facts?

He had a little over eight minutes before the engines seized and he plummeted from the sky like a meteorite. Luckily, he was not currently above any cities or human inhabited areas, if you could consider that luck in his situation. Below him, miles of dense forest surrounded by bodies of water on two sides. He'd have to try to find a clearing in the wooded area, the air craft was not equipped to land in the water and would sink like the heap of metal it was. If he could find a large enough break in the trees then he may be able to land without being impaled.

He gained a bit of altitude to get a better overall look at the forest. After about twenty three miles he began to panic somewhat. There wasn't a single break in the dense green canopy and if he didn't find one in three minutes he was going to land with or without his consent. He desperately wished Butler was there. He couldn't stop the plane from falling out of the sky but his presence would be enough to spur Artemis' confidence and stave off his mounting panic. Not to mention the fact that the meticulous body guard would have _definitely_ noticed the lack of fuel the moment he boarded.

_If I survive this he's going to kill me._

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Butler was going to kill Artemis.

_Why does that boy feel the need to make my job way more difficult than it needs to be? Why couldn't he just stay put? Don't leave the manor grounds, don't play with explosive chemicals and don't taunt billionaire crime lords via your computer. Simple rules he just could not follow despite his genius._

Butler quickly shook the frustrating thoughts from his mind, _Plenty of time to kill my charge as soon as he is safe. _

In the ten minutes it had taken for him to settle Mrs. Fowl into her room and inform Juliet to keep an eye on her, his charge had disappeared.Butler had searched every possible place his charge could have gone, including the west wing of the manor, where Artemis Sr. and Angeline's master bedroom was, which had practically been shut down since Artemis Sr. had "gone missing", as his charge would like to put it. Butler would never tell Artemis but he was pretty sure that if the Major hadn't survived the explosion then neither had the boy's father. Though he studiously aided Artemis in setting up monitoring equipment in case news of the man miraculously turned up, if only to ease his charge's mind. Some times he wished that the remains of Artemis Sr. would be washed ashore just to give the man's son some closure, so the endless nights of searching and plotting could stop and Artemis could finally grieve. He could at least do that much for the boy.

After exhausting what seemed like every option, the manservant (maid, chef, gardener, protector and pretty much parent), remembered one last possible place his charge could have gone. He remembered that Artemis had spent some time repairing the Cessna, about a month ago. It was unlikely that he was there but Butler had looked every where else and was about to get in the Bentley and tear off down the road, he figured he'd better make sure before he took off.

The Cessna was stowed in a large gray ramshackle garage that looked out of place next to the sophisticated manor. It was further back towards where the Fowl estate became untamed forest. The plane was hardly ever used and Butler would have liked to scrap the safety hazard for a more suitable air craft but Artemis Sr. was rather fond of it, as it had been in the family for two decades and it was the first plane he had ever flown.

Butler jogged briskly up the hill, stepping carefully around a few of the estate's albino peacocks that had managed to escape their enclosure once again, and rounded to the front of the garage, ready to wrench the rusted doors open, certain that the Cessna was there...but just in case.

He did no such thing, the doors were wide open and the plane was gone. His heart sank into his shoes. That plane was a metal death trap and his eleven year old charge was piloting it with practically no fuel to speak of. He knew this little fact because he had siphoned most of the fuel from that plane to put into the Lear Jet, which was used on almost a weekly basis. He'd been doing things like that ever since the Fowl's fortune had dwindled and restrictions needed to be made, fuel was expensive and they needed the jet.

Butler wondered how he hadn't heard the plane start up or take off. He couldn't believe he'd allowed himself to become distracted, he should have had Juliet deal with Mrs. Fowl. If Madame Ko ever caught wind of this she'd fly to Ireland, rip his Blue Diamond Tattoo right off his shoulder, set it on fire and make him clean up the ashes using knitting needles. This thought, of course, was only a distraction from the current situation, which was grave. How was he supposed to do his job if Artemis insisted on doing things like taking off in an ancient metal contraption with equipment that was shotty at best..._secretly_.

_Highest I.Q in Europe my arse._

Butler hit speed dial for Artemis' cell phone, to which Butler was the only person in the world that had the number, it rung five times. No answer. He tried a second time. Again no answer. Previous to this event there have only been two times that Artemis had not picked up his phone on at least the second ring. Once, when his charge had managed to drop his phone in the toilet at St. Bartleby's upon attempting to answer it and use the facilities at the same time and once when Butler had accidentally butt dialed Artemis while he was enjoying a rendition of _The Fairy-Queen_, one of the boy's favorite operas, at _Teatro degli Arcimboldi_ in Milan. This had warranted an annoyed glare from his charge as Butler had, of course, been seated directly next to him.

The fact that Artemis had not answered his phone meant that he was either too busy trying not to plummet to earth to pick up or he had left it in the manor. Both possibilities were unfavorable in the least and before Butler could face the fact that this situation was largely out of his hands, something that was happening more and more as it turned out, a burst of static sounded from the back of the rusty shed. He quickly stepped into the darkness and made his way to a large and out dated radio transmitter, undoubtedly the source of the static, surprised that it was still in working condition. Luckily he had some experience with older forms of emergency communications and fine tuned the wave lengths to what he hoped was the Cessna's frequency. He could not broadcast a message to Artemis because by the looks of the radio, various wires and attachments had been chewed through over the years by rodents but it seemed that it could at least receive a signal. Butler loomed over the heap of rusted metal, his only connection to Artemis, hoping that the burst of static was more than a malfunction. He desperately wanted to sprint back to the Manor and ascend to the roof of the south wing where there was a Sikorsky helicopter waiting for him but he stood his ground. He didn't want to risk missing the information he was sure Artemis was attempting to relay to him. There was a much better radio in the helicopter but by then it may be too late to hear the message.

Thirty long seconds passed. Then another loud burst of static. A familiar voice wracked with uncharacteristic tremors filtered through the grating friction of electricity: _Butler...Emergency __lan *_static*_Fifty__ seven klicks_* static * _Dublin Bay._

Silence.

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**Okay so if you want chapter 3 posted by Friday then I need at least 10 reviews. I think that's a **

**solid exchange. Also, remember that if you have any suggestions for this story don't hesitate to let me know, I can't promise anything but I will consider each one and if it fits the story well then I'll write it. **

**P.S:**** Please let me know if you spot any corrections that I need to make!**


	3. By the Grace of God

**Sorry for the long wait guys. This is a relatively short chapter just because I've been pretty busy and I honestly didn't know what I wanted to do with this chapter. But here it is in all its pint sized glory. **

**Cricket0206-Thank you, I'll try to update a little faster from now on**

**sexxicosmologist**- **Thanks for sticking with the story, I missed the mark on the whole "next friday" thing****  
**

**due to a lack of reviews but now I can start all over again! yay XD**

**Thank you to everyone who reviewed and favorited/followed the story thus far. **

**So guys, chapter 4 will be posted in TWO days if you give me at least 5 reviews. Sound reasonable? **

**I have the feeling I'm jinxing myself here. **

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Artemis' world was reeling. He had never been in a situation where every possible variable was out of his control. The only solid concept he could hold onto was the controls in his trembling hands. And indeed, he held on, attempting to keep the bracing winds from wrestling them right out of his grip. The hull convulsed violently and Artemis watched as two outer panels ripped from the nose of the Cessna, spinning off into the dense growth of forest below. The ground rushed up at him as he fought to keep the nose level, the wings as close to steady as he could muster. It was only by the grace of God that he had found a clearing, albeit a small one, with a little under two minutes to spare. He circled around, calculating the best trajectory that would cause the least damage to the plane and ultimately to himself. Just as he began to descend the engines seized, sputtering just once and then gave way to a free fall that rendered anything that wasn't nailed down a potential weapon as objects clattered about with deadly speed. It took him only seconds to level out the air craft enough for it to descend at the correct angle, this was however, enough time for a pair of vintage aviator goggles that his father kept in the hull for good luck, to smack him rather dramatically across the face. It had looked as if someone had thrown them at him in the heat of an argument. He figured that too, was the grace of God.

He was convinced the Cessna was no longer a solid object, it seemed to be vibrating so rapidly that it he figured it must be out of the visible spectrum. The turbulence rattled Artemis' bones while the G-force pinned his small body back against the seat. His insides were climbing up his throat, the feeling of his organs lifting in free fall sent spirals of panic clawing at his chest. He had a seven second window to steer himself in to the clearing, which was roughly a quarter of a mile wide, if he miscalculated he'd wind up either impaled or smashed to pieces. Slowly he angled the nose of the Cessna, using every bit of strength to move the controls, his vision next to useless as the jolting continued. He counted aloud, five moments to impact.

"One." Artemis held the controls in place.

"Two." Steadying the craft as much as the jolting would allow, he narrowly avoided the plane irreversibly twisting sideways.

"Three." Artemis deepened the rate of descent fractionally.

"Four." As the plane drew nearer to the canopy before the clearing he pulled back violently, dropping the plane over the dense crop of trees, exactly parallel to the ground.

"Five." Artemis forced his eyes to remain open, braced himself, and prayed.

The world was a mass of colorful streaks, Artemis' started cry as he made contact with the ground was ripped away from his mouth before he could hear even hear it. The landing flung him about viciously but he never let go of the controls, despite their uselessness. He was thrown back harshly and he felt something pop, pain shot up his shoulder as he was rocketed forward. His head careened sideways, smashing into the metal wall causing an explosion of color in his left eye. The ground beneath him gave way to the weight of the plane. Something metal clipped Artemis' cheek, slicing the flesh open. The craft's landing gear lasted a good three seconds before twisting off in the disturbed earth, causing the Cessna to fish tail widely before finally grinding to a halt two yards short of a mighty oak.

When the world stopped moving Artemis let his hands drop to his sides, his muscles ached where he had held the controls. It was disturbingly peaceful, what with the birdsong echoing high in the canopy and the sun's rays filtering through the foliage. The Cessna seemed to be mostly intact, much to Artemis' surprise. A few new panels were needed and the entirety of the landing gear would need to be replaced but it could have been worse, much worse.

Artemis slapped clumsily at the safety belt, releasing himself from the pilot's seat. His vision spiraled as he made his way out of the craft, landing on his hands and knees in the soft, previously untouched grass. His right arm didn't seem to want to support his weight, the pain emanating from his shoulder told him that he'd nearly pulled it out of it's socket. It wasn't fully dislocated but the injury was enough to render the limb relatively useless. He felt his left temple, a knot was forming under the skin.

_Concussion, I am about to lose consciousness._

In an effort not to pass out on the ground he crawled back into the Cessna, losing his balance several times as he tried to stand up straight. Finally, he was forced to keep his center of gravity low and simply pull himself over the edge until at least his upper body was comfortably inside the craft. He flipped himself over onto his back, feeling a trickle of blood seep from the wound on his cheek and travel into his ear. Darkness ate away at the edges of his vision like tiny ants, undulating and inducing a wave of nausea. There was a strange sound, like the sigh of the ocean. He shook his head, trying to clear the blackness that was beginning to cling like smoke. A voice filtered through the rough sound of waves breaking over shore. The voice was...familiar. Artemis twisted his head to the side, looking for the source of the noise.

_The radio. It's the radio._ The left side of his brain was screaming at him to reach for it, to answer the voice. But it was so easy just to lay there, no bill collectors were slamming down his door, no mother screaming obscenities at him, telling him to get out of his own house. His eyes lost their focus, the static filled his mind, a low thrum of emptiness so deliciously devoid of thought. His brain, normally running a thousand miles an hour, seemed to be processing at a crawl. He'd never felt so...free. As the static continued he felt his mind slipping into the electric pulse, drowning in its nothingness.

In the moments before he surrendered to the seductive unconsciousness that accompanied a traumatic head injury, he heard the voice of his bodyguard, frantic through the surrounding speakers of the plane.

_Artemis._ He said. _Answer me. _

The boy, upon recognizing the source of the plea, gave one final attempt at righting himself and then fell back once again and slipped into the comforting darkness.

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It's so simple.

5 reviews=chapter 4 by Saturday. That's two days people.

It's that little box under my story.

It's right there.

All you do is type nice things in it and it makes me happy.

Use the box, you know you want to.

DO NOT DENY THE BOX!

FEEEEEED ITTTTT!


	4. Forget Me Not

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Okay guys, first off let me apologize. I promised you guys chapter 4 by Saturday if I got at least 5 reviews. Which I did get, and I had about three paragraphs to go before I posted it...and then I got called into work early and I just couldn't post it in the shape that it was, you guys would have been infuriated. So as soon as I got home I hammered out the rest. So I'm staying true to my word, it's a little bit late but I hope you'll forgive me. I tried to make this chapter extra interesting to make up for it.

I'd like to thank everyone who reviewed, as always, you make it worth while. Thank you Alana O'Connor, Greenpineaple, Necromancer93, matt (how the hell did you get that user name?)

and the several guest readers who reviewed as well. You guys are amazing, hope this chapter lives up to your expectations.

**WARNING: **This chapter contains content that is darker and more violent than my previous chapters. It is definitely macabre soif you are easily disturbed or very young I suggest you refrain from reading this chapter.

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There is controversy over weather or not the unconscious can dream. Some say that they remember nothing, passing out and waking were no different to them than blinking, interjected perhaps by a lapse of darkness. Others, however, claim to dream so vividly that they believe they are living in the conscious world, and have no knowledge of their condition until the moment they awake.

Artemis was dreaming of a bright pulsing light that penetrated his closed eyelids, sending blotches of red across his vision. There was a faint hum some where behind him, possibly a generator of some sort. Wherever he was it was warm, almost humid. There was a denseness to the air that he could not place. Artemis opened his eyes and was met with a gray, mildew encrusted concrete ceiling, a row of fluorescent lights above him flickered on and off incessantly, alternating between blinding him and plunging him into a thick darkness that lasted only moments. Squinting up at the irritating display, he noted his position on the equally mildew covered concrete floor and the damp soaking into his clothing. He tried to sit up but a grinding pain shot through his chest, reaching his throat and making almost impossible to breath. He fell back to his position on the floor with a surprised grunt. What the hell had happened?

The boy allowed his body to relax, he was not bound nor was he mortally injured, there was a way out of this. He focused on recalling how he had gotten here but his mind would not allow him to reach that information, providing instead a few fuzzy fragments of memory before blanking out entirely. Just minutes past before a heavy door was opened and the sound of determined footsteps echoed across the room on the far side from where he was laying.

Someone spoke. The voice was soft but undeniably commanding, tinged with a steely air that betrayed no sign of hesitance as he instructed the second set of foot steps to preform a series of unpleasant tasks. Artemis' breath caught at the man's clipped tone, his heart lurched and a mixture of admiration, great relief and fear settled in the bottom of his stomach. That was the voice of his father. Unmistakably.

Artemis had to force himself to stay where he was, it took every bit of his will power not to open his mouth and call out to him. Instead, he listened intently to the conversation developing across the room.

"Make sure he doesn't rattle about this time, its tiring to watch and entirely unnecessary. The noise is loud enough without him wrenching the table across the floor." Artemis Sr.'s tone was curt as he gave the final orders to his partner for the evening. The man shuffled a bit, picking up something metal and sliding it into place with a smooth click. He repeated the process several times and when he was done he let out a slight grunt of satisfaction.

"Don't worry, he isn't going to be moving much." He gave an amused chuckle. "It should be over rather quickly, he's already half dead. If we hadn't had to stop it would have been over in less than ten minutes." He let out a slight sigh of irritation.

"Obviously." Artemis could almost hear the rolling of his father's eyes at the older sounding man's comment. "This is his first time, I knew there would be a reaction but I didn't anticipate..._that._" The last word was wrought with disgust. "I must apologize on his behalf but I do believe he truly learned something here today."

And even though Artemis could not see his father and hadn't in about two years, he knew that he had ended that last quip with a crooked smirk, the familiar gesture clear in his mind.

"He better have, nearly ruined everything, that one. You'd better keep a tight leash on him. He's a tad bit young to be so..." The man searched his mind for the right word, not wanting to insult the head of a criminal empire. "Unmanageable." He finished, with what Artemis imagined to be disapproving expression.

_Who is my father associated with that he must control so forcibly?_

Artemis strained to listen as a brief silence filled the room punctuated by the sound of water dripping onto a metal surface. Then the man working for his father fiddled with something involving a long power chord. A generator. Metal clipping metal...

Suddenly a small sound emanated from across the room, it rasped and grated before finally becoming something sickeningly similar to a human voice. But it couldn't be, because no one sounded like that. That was the sound of air squeezing through something dry and cracked. Artemis almost dismissed the noise as wind sneaking in from outside until the atrocious sound that was _not_, could _not_, be the voice of a living human being formed four short words.

"I..." He stopped to take what little breath he could, his scorched lungs crackled like embers in a bon fire. "Will..._never..._forget." His voice was somehow both guttural and wispy as it grated from his throat, and beneath the sound of death there was a strange truth to his words that he wielded like a threat.

The effort to speak was immense. He released the breath in a retching wheeze ending in a pained splutter of blood. The liquid, having nowhere to go, and the man, having no air in his scorched lungs to project it from his throat, began to choke. The two men allowed this to continue in an utterly grotesque display of cruelty, watching as he squirmed in his bonds, gargling sickly until someone slapped the back of the man's head, effectively stopping him from drowning. The blood splattered loudly to the concrete.

Across the room, Artemis fought the urge to vomit.

"No" His father answered the dying man in a tone as cold as the ocean that was supposed to be his grave. "I don't believe you will." He turned to the other man, and spoke with a swift finality. "Do it."

There was the sound of a lever or switch, then the high pitched whir of vicious electricity being conducted. The sound echoed in Artemis' mind and some deep primal instinct told him to get up, to run. But he didn't...he had been here before and...he knew what was coming. He kept his eyes locked straight ahead, expression vacant as he waited for the inevitable.

The lights directly above him began to flicker more wildly and then surged with power. They grew blindingly bright and a few exploded with an excited pop, raining burning shards of glass down on him like fragmented lightning. He didn't move to brush them away.

And then the room was plunged into what Artemis thought, was surely some dimension of hell. The charge reached the man and slammed into his chest, convulsions wracked his body. His skin, already blackened over the length of his torso began to crack open, the smell of burning flesh hit Artemis violently. He knew the smell, he was no stranger to this dream but each time...it never got any easier. He shuffled backwards, away from the smell, the sound of flesh as it began to crackle. He pushed himself in the corner of the room, a hand clasped over his mouth to keep him from screaming. But then the man's voice keened out of his burnt lips, stretched back in the agony of death. The sound was unbearable, inhuman...animalistic.

And then Artemis began to scream, and he didn't stop. He clamped his hands over his ears in an attempt to ward of the grotesque sounds twisting around him. Sounds that he would never be able to escape.

He knelt down, shutting his eyes to the flickering lights that were, one by one, dying and plunging him further into darkness...in this room that was about to go still with real death and possibly even worse...what comes after. He prayed the only words that his mind could process.

_Wake up. WAKE UP. _

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If you are really really confused feel free to message me if you have any questions.

Honestly, to me, this is not that bad in terms of the violence but I felt that I should give everyone a heads up just in case.

Also, just so ya know. This story is a prequel to my next, much longer and infinitely more revealing Post TLG fic that I will be posting when this one is finished. It's also going to be a very dark story and it ties up the loose ends of this fic. I'll keep you posted on that.

FIVE REVIEWS=NEXT CHAPTER BY THE END OF THE WEEK.

FILL THINE BOX!


	5. This One Spark of Light

Thank you EVERYONE who reviewed/favorited/followed this story. It's been a pleasure writing for you. I hope you will all follow my next story, a post TLG fic that's coming along quite nicely. The first chapter should be out within the next two weeks.

**Alana O' Connor: **Thank you for your great review and for being a loyal reader.

**CieloCrimisi:** Thank you, I was hoping they would be. And that's what I was going for. I love angsty/dramatic fics but I hate when they get to be over the top. It makes it impossible to get into the story because you KNOW that character would never ever do that. So hopefully my future stories all retain a sense of realness XD I really appreciated your review.

This song will be the soundtrack to this chapter.

"Where will you go?" by evanescence

This is my favorite version: watch?v=7XW47LpkB-4

"I can hear you in a whisper but you can't even hear me screaming."

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Somewhere in the darkness of his dreams a voice was calling to him. A voice that could rescue him from this room that choked him with its pungent scent of blood and death. From his place in the corner he watched smoke escape the burnt corpse, pouring from his mouth and nostrils in steady streams and coiling about the ceiling like the ghosts of serpents. The men were silent, taking a moment to absorb the morbid scene. After a few moments had passed the older man spoke, Artemis could see now that he was in his late sixties.

"That took a lot longer than I had expected..." sounding for all the world as if he were talking about waiting in line at the supermarket. "Fucker just refused to die."

Artemis Sr. nodded and gestured to the mass of smoking flesh. "Go on then, set it up. We don't have all night."

The older man began unbuckling the dead man's restraints. The corpse fell for ward and he pulled it out of the chair. With surprising strength for his age, he hoisted the body onto a wooden work table.

Artemis' heart beat viciously, he didn't want to watch this. He couldn't. Frantically he searched for a way out. He spun in a circle, eyes darting. Fear tightened its grip on his stomach and a cold dread spread across his chest. Hadn't there been a door?

_I need to get out of here. How can they stand this smell?_

He knew that he was panicking but he couldn't stop himself, the door that his father had entered the room through had vanished. His mind reeled, he'd be trapped here forever with a corpse and the smell of burnt flesh and the black pools of coagulated blood that he knew would soon cover the table. The stagnant air was unbearable. It collected in oily wisps, scattered about the room like fog and he could...taste the charred nature of it, oh God he could taste the dead man's flesh. He bent over and dry heaved, breaking the silence.

His father turned to face him and when Artemis looked up their eyes locked. Something in his chest constricted and he couldn't stop his lips from quivering.

"Ah, so your awake. Good, I didn't want you to miss this. I feared you'd be out the rest of the night." He cocked his head and somehow it translated as a threat. His father had the perplexing gift of making the most innocent of gestures frightening. His tone deceptively light, he continued. "Why don't you come over so you can get a better look..."

His features darkened at his son's hesitance. "Don't be stupid boy."

That's when he heard the voice, seemingly coming from every direction. The world around him grew still and began to fade. He was pulled up through a veil of darkness and felt relief wash over him. He knew that voice.

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Once in the air, it had taken Butler roughly an hour to locate the site of the crash and once he had, it was a simple matter to land the Sikorsky in the middle of the clearing. From his vantage point in the sky he had been pleased to see the plane in one piece, which meant that his charge was likely in the same condition. Upon descending his heart quickened at the sight of Artemis' legs dangling over the side of the open door, motionless.

He had barely touched the ground before he was jumping out of the helicopter, he was at the boy's side in seconds. He ripped the Armani suit open with one motion, sending buttons sailing into the cockpit. He'd be hearing about that later but it was of little consequence if his charge didn't actually wake up. After flipping the boy's frail frame over to check his back Butler was relieved to find only a few minor cuts and that his shoulder needed to be popped back into place. No internal bleeding and no broken bones. He did have a rather nasty gash across his left cheek but Butler could take care of that and his shoulder right now while he was still unconscious.

Moving quickly he pulled out his first aid kit, which was infinitely more extensive than most and rather resembled a compact operating room. He pulled out sutures, astringent and a hypodermic needle that he filled with local anesthetic to numb the affected area. Before he began the process of stitching he took the boy's slim shoulders in his and gave the right one a shove up and inward. The action produced a small and satisfying pop that alerted him to the fact that the shoulder was firmly back in its proper place.

Working as quickly as any skilled surgeon the massive man nimbly sutured the gash across Artemis' cheek and was finished within five minutes. He silently commended himself, when the sutures came out one month later there wouldn't even be a scar.

Having finished repairing his charge he tentatively shook his uninjured shoulder. This produced no reaction but the light lolling of Artemis' head which revealed to Butler the considerable knot growing near his temple. The guard swore under his breath, he was likely concussed, which meant he would have to be extremely careful moving him as even mild brain injuries could be exacerbated by too much movement. For the next two weeks his charge would be confined to his bed in order to insure his brain recovered properly, that was another battle Butler was not looking forward to having.

He cradled Artemis' head with one massive palm and scooped up the rest of his small frame with his other arm, much the way one might carry a newborn. As he started to head back towards the chopper Artemis stirred, eyes blinking blearily.

"Relax Artemis, I've got you." His voice came out much softer than he had expected. Despite his anger at the whole situation Butler couldn't help but feel relieved and a bit overjoyed that he had sustained little lasting harm.

The boy's eyes opened half way, his expression vacant. He jostled a bit, disoriented. He probably wouldn't be lucid for at least the rest of the night. Butler's heart lurched at his charge's dazed features, the boy had never looked so very lost. So very much like...an eleven year old boy who'd crashed a plane.

"Father?" Artemis' voice was barely a whisper.

"Shhh Artemis, it's okay. Your safe now, We're heading back to the Manor."

Artemis looked up at his bodyguard, confused.

"Father...I thought you were...I've been looking for you."

Butler laid his charge down on a stretcher in the back of the helicopter, strapping him in so he could not move and harm himself. When he was done he placed a hand on the boys forehead, Artemis was still looking at him, waiting patiently for some kind of response.

"Artemis, you've been in an accident and your thoughts aren't clear just yet. It's me, Butler."

He seemed not to hear the words and an expression of reverent hope filled his features.

"I knew you were alive." He said the words slowly, as if he needed to hear them as much as he needed to say them.

Butler backed away, not knowing exactly what to do. Finally, he relented at the boy's intense gaze.

"No, Artemis. Listen.." He said the words softly and slowly, hoping his charge would understand. "It's me, Butler. Your father he...isn't here. You know that." After two years Butler still approached the subject with caution, it was like a fresh wound for Artemis because for all his searching and plotting he had found no trace of the man and thus never gave into grief. He was suspended between the two very real(to him at least) possibilities of his father's return and his death. There was no headstone, no burial plot and no body, so the lack of concrete evidence usually present following one's death was all the reason Artemis needed to believe his father was still out there. Alive. And Believe he did, in fact, he believed so vehemently that his father was just waiting to be found that Butler couldn't tell if it was an extreme case of denial or if there really was some hope in the situation. Could the boy see what everyone else could not?

Artemis did not answer the man, who may or may not have been his father, and instead laid his head back against the rough material of the gurney and slipped into darkness.

Artemis fell in and out of consciousness for the next two days. Butler sat by his side, watching him breath, soothing his panic when he woke up and tried to keep him from getting out of bed. Every time he woke it was like the first. He continued to believe that the tall figure watching over him was his father and he'd ask questions Butler could not answer. He would do his best to placate the boy but the look on his face was unbearable.

Now, sitting by his side, he could see the stress of his thoughts playing themselves out as he slept. Pale hands gripped the sheets at odd intervals, his features would twist into one of intense thought briefly before smoothing over again, he hardly moved but would tremble every now and then. He was trembling now, breathing rapidly, eyes shifting back and forth beneath his eyelids. Butler studied him so intensely that when he broke the silence with soft spoken words plucked from his subconscious, Butler nearly jumped.

The boy's eyebrows drew together in pain or confusion or both and a soft grunt of protest escaped his lips. "...You can't do this" The words were soft and pained. "Why can't you let him go...or just let him...die" Just as the strangeness of this fragmented sentence began to worry Butler the rest of his words halted as Artemis began to stir, possibly at the sound of his own voice echoing in the large room.

Immediately Butler was leaning over him, concerned and attentive. When Artemis' blue eyes fluttered open, glazed, he spoke again, very low and almost to himself. Butler had to strain to hear him. "Oh...Mother, I have been having such awful dreams." And then recognition sparked in his features and his eyes darted about worriedly.

He sat up quickly and took in his surroundings, coming to a conclusion before Butler had the chance to open his mouth. "You found me, How long have I been out?"

"The better part of two days, pretty nasty concussion."

"Yes...I know...landing that thing was not easy. Remind me to replace the standard controls, they must be at least fifteen years old. It was like steering a bucket down a waterfall with a stick." He put a hand absently to his temple where the welt was beginning to lessen.

Butler, though glad to hear his charge speaking lucidly, did not even try to keep the anger from his voice. "Yes, about that. What were you thinking Artemis? Aren't you supposed to be some sort of genius? That was the most idiotic decision you've ever made."

His charge was taken aback by this, but not by much. The unlikely pair had a respect for one another that included a blunt sense of honesty. Artemis had never held his tongue around Butler regarding his actions and thoughts and Butler had never hesitated to let Artemis know when he needed to reign himself in. It was a rocky concept but it worked for them, no one else in the world would be able to question Artemis' genius and get away with it unscathed let alone have the boy nodding along to the lecture.

Butler continued, sounding very much like a father scolding his mischievous son. "I turn my back for ten minutes and you're in the damn sky!? Really? Last time I checked you weren't so impulsive. If I hadn't thought to check the Cessna who knows how long you would have been stranded out there. What has gotten into you?" Butler partially already knew the answer but he felt an explanation was owed, in the very least for what the boy had put him through for the past two days.

When Butler stopped talking Artemis nodded and took a deep breath. "I know, your right of course. That was foolish and completely impulsive. I'm ashamed of my actions and I apologize for the undue worry I have caused you. Nothing like this will happen in the future, you have my word."

Butler was one of the only people in the world to ever get an apology in any form from Artemis Fowl II and he knew it. He nodded in return, accepting the apology but not allowing his principle to skirt the issue. "That doesn't answer my question."

When Butler didn't drop the subject Artemis sighed dramatically and gestured to the chair. "Sit."

Once seated Butler watched Artemis mull over what he was about to say, he seemed to be choosing his words carefully and they sat in silence for three minutes before the heir decided to speak.

"I allowed my emotions to get the best of me and when you ushered Mother back to her room I boarded the Cessna and took off. I was so eager to leave that I failed to notice the lack of fuel. Like I said, It was complete foolishness on my part." He said the words as rigidly and quickly as possible, Butler could almost feel his charge pushing him away as if it were a physical act.

"You know that's not what I'm asking."

"Well that is the only explanation that I can give you."

"I know there is more to it than that and I wouldn't be doing my job if I allowed you to walk around with whatever it is that's bothering you, obviously it gives you impulsive urges to put your life in jeopardy and I'm having none of it. So we are going to sit here until you tell me. Even if it takes all night." With that he crossed his arms and sat back in his seat, intending to make good on his promise. He couldn't lie, the incredulous look on Artemis' face was thoroughly enjoyable but other than that he was hoping that this would work. Artemis had been even more introverted in the past few months than usual and this was the perfect excuse for Butler to finally find out why without overstepping his professional boundaries. Not that their relationship was exactly professional, Butler was closer to Artemis than anyone but the boy still felt the need to keep his distance.

In an uncharacteristically childish manner, Artemis crossed his arms back at his bodyguard and scowled. "It's none of your business." The words held all the venom that Artemis could muster, which wasn't very much. Butler almost laughed.

"I beg to differ, I believe it is very much my business. _You_ are my business, therefore I should be made aware of whatever is causing you enough pain that you feel the need to risk your life."

Artemis slowly brought his hands to his lap. Even he couldn't argue with simple logic.

Sighing once more he gave his bodyguard a pleading look. "I just...I don't want to talk about it. I don't even know where to start."

"You could start with what happened between you and your mother. Even she's been less destructive lately."

Artemis visibly flinched at the mention of his mother. "Right, Mother." He picked at his duvet, avoiding Butler's eyes. After a few second Butler grew impatient.

"So what happened?" He had no intention of dropping this.

Artemis looked away and Butler had never seen him do something so...normal. Usually he was like some sort of superhuman, with his superior intelligence and inflated ego. But now he couldn't even meet his friend's eyes and Butler sensed the guilt radiating off of him.

"I yelled at her Butler, I said horrible things to my sick Mother."

"I see, I'm surprised you didn't do this sooner."

"What?" The boy looked up at him with shock.

"Artemis, your mother is an amazing woman but she's been a terror lately. I know she's ill and it's not her fault but this kind of behavior would tear any child apart. It's amazing you lasted this long, you aren't known for your patience." He paused but Artemis didn't speak, he just looked back down at his folded hands. Butler continued.

"Your doing everything you can for her. Most people with your kind of money would set her up in a nice psych ward somewhere and move on with their lives, but you didn't do that. You're being brave Artemis, don't forget that."

"I'm not being brave." He said almost angrily, looking up. "What's brave about locking your own mother in the attic and sedating her when she becomes an inconvenience? If I were trying to help her I'd be doing more, but I'm not. We don't have the resources to pay for another psychiatrist and starting next week the insurance is running out so her medication is no longer going to be an option."

"That's not your fault, you're just a ch-"

Artemis raised a hand, cutting him off. "Don't say that to me, you know better than anyone that I am not _just _a child." He snapped, a little too viciously. Chiding himself, he continued a bit more kindly. "I could do more, there are other therapies we could try but I'm just...I'm just so angry with her!"

Butler nodded._ Now _they were getting somewhere. He watched as Artemis searched his features, looking for the disapproval he was anticipating. That look he was so accustomed to getting after being honest about his feelings. He continued warily when his bodyguard portrayed nothing but interest at this latest development. Reluctantly the boy continued.

"Mother is all I have now, and despite my efforts she is slowly fading away. I know she isn't doing this intentionally but there is a part of me that feels as if she is taking the easy way out while I'm left here. I can not help but think...why is she not _trying?_" He shook his head at this and looked across the room to the window.

"She doesn't have the resources to fight this Artemis. Your mother is a brilliant woman but she has her weaknesses. Losing...him...was more than she could tolerate."

"I realize that Butler but I am still here. Do I matter so little to her as well?"

Butler didn't have to think hard to figure out who else he was talking about. Even when Artemis Sr. was present in the Manor he hardly spared a second glance for his son. Besides the few occasions that he called Artemis into his study or took him on an even more rare outing, he never voluntarily spent any time with the boy. And when he did speak to his son in public it was to criticize, nothing was ever right. And so the boy grew into an intense adolescent, often volatile and disturbingly solitary. But despite all of this he still managed to almost worship his father, vying for any attention he could get.

When Artemis Sr. was told that his son was officially a genius it was possibly the worst thing that could have happened to his son. His expectations were inconceivable and his son took the challenge. Now, almost twelve years later, the boy sitting before Butler had received twenty three music awards and scholarships, fourteen scientific achievement awards, created two new vaccines, won countless awards in the realm of art, from contemporary to impressionist and published over seventy articles and four bestselling books under several pen names. Despite all these glorious achievements, Artemis Sr. would often chide the boy on when exactly he going to live up to his potential. So this, in turn, produced a genius who's skills were dangerously honed and morals that were shaky at the best of times.

"Artemis." Butler spoke the name with an affection that he hadn't known he possessed. Artemis' eyes were fixed across the room, watching the gray Irish clouds drift across the darkening sky, he did not respond. He was somewhere else and Butler's heart constricted at the lost yet contemplative expression on his charge's face. He leaned forward and placed his huge spade like hand over the boys small, pale one. Artemis, unaccustomed to being touched, almost jerked his hand away out of surprise but stopped himself when he saw the seriousness on his friend's face. "Don't let this become you."

The gravity of Butler's tone forced Artemis to meet his gaze. The boy's eyes shone almost indigo as a look of confusion overcame his features. He tilted his head and Butler was reminded slightly of a curious feline. "I don't know what you mean." He said, in a quiet voice.

"I just mean..." Butler paused, thinking over his words. He wondered briefly if he was overstepping his boundaries but decided that it needed to be said regardless, and his mother sure as hell wasn't going to tell him. Carefully he continued. "Your parents don't know how to love, Artemis. Your father certainly didn't and your mother tries but she can't see past herself. You are going to have to grow up..alone. For the most part." He paused again, gauging his charge's reaction. The boy's eyes flashed brightly and he seemed on edge but listening nonetheless. He seemed almost as if he'd been waiting for these words but hadn't known it until now. "I know this is not what you wanted to hear but it's true and I can't tell you how sorry I am that this even needs to be said but..." He shook his head. "Don't allow this to become who you are, I see you lock a little bit of yourself away every day Artemis. Every time she doesn't know you, each day that the rescue teams don't call with news. It's not going to get any easier and at this rate I fear for you, even more so now."

Artemis opened his mouth to say something but couldn't find the words, his eyes were pricked with tears that he refused to release. He felt his face heat up and he looked away from Butler, away from the truth and he just wanted to roll over and make him stop talking. He'd built up this image as a shield against everything life had thrown at him so far and here was this man, picking him apart. He wasn't ready for this. He wasn't ready to let go. So he did the only thing he knew how to do, he lashed out.

"Well don't." His tone was poison. He ripped his hand out from beneath Butler's and straightened his back against the head board. This desperate grasp at appearance was infantile and transparent but its purpose wasn't really to get Butler to see him as the invincible employer. It was to get him to drop the topic and hopefully leave.

Butler had known his charge far too long for this to work.

"Don't do this Artemis. Don't just shut me out this way." He raked a hand through his hair, something Artemis had never seen him do before tonight. "I'm just trying to help you."

"Well I don't need it. I'm not some lonely child who needs a hug and a bedtime story. I'm a professional and I'm capable of handling my own emotions, thank you very much. You can leave now." The boy promptly rolled over in the opposite direction, pulling the covers with him.

Butler sat there for a good five minutes, half contemplating quitting his job due to the sheer obnoxiousness of this child while the other half tried to figure out what to do. After some time he stood up with a sigh. He then reach over his charge's shoulder and wrenched the blankets of the bed. Artemis bolted upright, looking rather infuriated.

"I thought I told you to leave." He made an obvious show of attempting to control his anger.

"No. I'm not leaving this room until you talk to me." He said this slowly, as if he were trying to coax a tiger back into it's cage without getting mauled.

Artemis pinched the bridge of his nose. "There is nothing further for us to discuss. I'd appreciate it if you left me to my own devices for tonight." He switched directives, trying a nicer approach but failed to extract the venom from his voice.

"Why? So you can sit in here and isolate yourself?"

"No. So I can go to sleep. I'm _tired._"

"You're not tired Artemis. You're scared. You're scared of what I just said and your scared of how you feel. So you want me to leave so that you can build your walls of denial and isolation and I'm not letting you do this again."

"I am not scared. I just don't want to talk about this anymore. There's no point, it's not going to change anything." He rose from the bed and crossed to the window, drawing the blinds.

"You need to talk about this. What you said before, about how you feel as if you aren't a good enough reason for your mother to hold onto her sanity. That matters. That's huge."

Artemis turned slowly but remained silent, staring.

"I don't think anyone has ever really pushed you hard enough, no one has ever taken the time to decipher you. How frustrating it must be, being able to read everyone around you like a book but no one can even scratch the surface when it comes to you. No one has the capacity to figure _you_ out. I'd be angry too."

The boy was almost crouching now, his eyes were wide and dangerous, like an animal. His gaze flicked briefly to the door and Butler was almost sure he was about to bolt. Then he spoke.

"It's not...It isn't..." Artemis was shaking, he looked unsure of what to do with himself.

"I want you to know that I care. This breaks every rule the academy has every drilled into my head but...I care about you as if you were my own. And I will never stop trying Artemis. Never." He took the boy's face in his hands. "You don't ever need to pretend with me."

Artemis' face and chest filled with heat. Unshed tears filled his eyes and obscured his vision. His brain thrummed as he tried to decide what to do. He couldn't think, his entire being screamed for him to push the man away but a small part of him needed this. And so he sat there, letting Butler cup his face in his hands and willed himself not to cry. Finally, blinking hard so the tears rolled in huge droplets down his cheeks, he removed the man's hands gently.

"I don't know if I can do this." He looked ashamed, as if the realization of what his friend had just said was hitting him just now.

"Do what?"

"Any of this. I'm not like everyone else. It's never going to be easy with me."

"I know." Butler's voice was gentle.

"And you would do that? For me?"

"Yes." The answer erupted from him, sure and unfaltering. His eyes regarded the boy with a fierce loyalty.

And Artemis thought for a moment about all the people that had ever said they'd loved him and It seemed that the love he was promised was always conditional. It was always based on his performance or in his mother's case, who he was that day. In comparison to the love that this man was offering him, for practically nothing in return, all others faded. Butler cared for him regardless of his genius and he listened to him even when he did not understand. This man had given him his life and now he was willing to give him even more. A reprieve from his stifling emotions, a way out. And this simple kindness hit Artemis. Hard.

"You don't have to, you don't have to do that." His voice was strained and breathy, his eyes shone wide and pleading.

"I know."

"I'm sorry."

"Don't be."

And the boy dropped. Butler was there immediately, just as he always was. Just as he always would be. He held the boy silently as he sobbed into his shirt, muttering words that were unintelligible. And Butler listened even though he did not understand.

They stayed like that for some time, even after Artemis went silent. Butler carried the exhausted boy to his bed and pulled the covers over him.

"Artemis, can I ask you something?"

"Of course." He nodded, his voice hoarse.

"What were you dreaming about?"

He tensed for a moment and Butler feared that he was going to turn over like he had done before. But then his face relaxed and he answered. "My father."

"It didn't sound pleasant."

"It wasn't."

"Will you tell me about it when you're ready?"

"When I'm ready."

They stared at each other from across the room. These two very different people brought together by fate and held there by an inexplicable sense of belonging to one another. By something bigger than themselves. Bigger than anything they could ever imagine. And they were granted this. For themselves and for each other. This one spark of light to guide them in an ocean of necessary darkness.

Artemis sat up on his elbows, a strange look on his face. The amber light set his eyes off like two flickering stars, distant yet familiar. "Thank you, Butler."

The man across the room nodded. His own eyes like two solitary planets.

"Goodnight, Artemis."

**THE END**

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Yeah that's the end of this one. It started out as a oneshot so I'm surprised it got to be five chapters.

Leave a review and let me know what you think. Any criticism or suggestions welcome.

FEED THE BOX!

And look out for my next post TLG fic. It's chock full of drama, angst, ghosts and even some good old fashion gore.


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